Why You Don't Ever Let Ron Near a TimeTurner
by vikehi
Summary: What happens when Ron swipes Hermione's time-turner? Chaos. The Ministry Six meet up with other worldly characters in this crack!fic.


11/11/2011

A/N: I was inspired by the prompt and the title with only ten days remaining in the contest. I honestly don't write a lot of fan fiction, but came up with some ideas, so I thought I'd go for it.

An Insane Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form claim ownership of any of the characters, worlds, or trans-dimesional objects in this fic. They belong to Warner Brothers, BBC, Fox, J.K. Rowling, Christopher Paolini, Knopf, Scholastic, Bloomsbury, Steve Moffat, Joss Whedon, Russel T. Davies, Syfy Channel, Showtime, Showtime again and heck since I know Richard Dean Anderson was a producer I'll throw him in too. If I forgot anyone, the characters, worlds, and said trans-dimensional objects belong to the people I've forgotten too. They would never put these characters together and write much better then I do.

Prologue:

Vala watched Daniel examining what he believed to be carvings on a piece of stone near some Scottish ruins while she was perched on the grass fiddling with the clip in her hair. This in itself was not unusual, however every now and then Daniel would jerk his head up and look at the ruins.

"Daniel, what do you keep looking at? It can't be as interesting as me and you have not looked at me even once. I want to go shopping. When you suggested we take our honeymoon in Scotland, I thought it might be fun, and then I find out you wanted to come out here to look at the ruins of some 'mysterious' castle you think might have been built by the ancients. Well I have had enough. We are going back to the Inn where all my lovely under things are and you are then going to take me to London to go shopping." At the end of her speech she stood up and started pulling his arm. Daniel let her pull him up.

"Okay Vala. We can go to London now," Daniel was trying to hide his grin, "You're right. This is supposed to be our honeymoon, and I know you really don't enjoy old ruins as much as me." He pulled her into a quick embrace and pecked her pouting lips.

"At least not when there isn't any treasure involved," Vala started while dragging Daniel toward the jeep that was parked near the road. Daniel heard a wheezing sound off toward the nearby lake, but shook it off. He wanted to get back to the Inn too and spend time with his new wife. He had been under too much stress lately. Hearing mysterious sounds and seeing ruins magically turn into castles occupied by robe wearing individuals was a little crazy sounding. Jack was right. He did need a real vacation. After they got in the jeep Vala grabbed Daniels head and pulled him into a very passionate kiss. After all it wasn't very often he gave into her so easily. Neither noticed the mist that seemed to form just around their car and dissipate twenty minutes later when they drove away toward the village to continue their honeymoon unaware of the events they had almost been involved in.

Meanwhile, near the lake an old-fashioned police box appeared. No one really noticed it, or the three companions that exited the rather small box.

"Doctor, I do not like my hair getting burnt off," A rather angry redhead spouted. "Did you _have_ to steal those dragon eggs?"

A lanky man with an impressive nose stood next to her, looking slightly shorter then her boot wearing form. "It was a little mean. They were her babies."

"Oh come on Ponds," A bowtie wearing man answered back addressing the couple. "That was not a good dragon. And those weren't her eggs. She was a Chinese Fireball. Those eggs belong to a Hebridean Black and a Peruvian Vipertooth. They would not have survived with her. I am just going to get the gamekeeper here at this school to take care of them. Where is his hut?"

"School, what school? All I see are a pile of old rocks! And what planet are we on exactly?" Amy Pond was not about to let go of her annoyance just yet. Running away from an angry dragon wasn't very different from their usual adventures, but her favorite jacket had gotten ruined by the fire and her hair had gotten singed. She walked angrily after the Doctor who ambling about looking for the mysterious hut not listening to a word she was saying. Rory just stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed. He wasn't about to get between his wife and anyone she was angry at. That was a good way to end up in the top bunk.

She wasn't the only redheaded woman that was annoyed at the moment. Ginny Potter was chasing after her brother, who was trying to get off Hogwarts grounds as quickly as possible so he could apparate to Diagon Alley. All Ron needed was three bloody hours to get a present for Hermione. It was their anniversary the next day and he had borrowed her time-turner so he would be able to sneak off and get the bracelet he had already picked out. Ginny had caught him with it in his hands as walked out of the school supposedly to go visit Hagrid. She immediately started going off on something, but Ron didn't care. If he didn't have a present for Hermione the next day, it wouldn't be Hermione that cared so much, but he would never hear the end of it from George. He had been torturing Ron all week at the shop, keeping him past closing time for the jewelry shop and making sure Ron couldn't get away to get Hermione's bracelet. He was trying very hard to shut out what his sister was saying as they neared Dumbledore's tomb.

"Ronald! Are you listening to me? Hermione has noticed something about the time-turner since the battle at the ministry! Don't you ever listen to what she's talking about? Give me the time-turner!" Ginny couldn't believe Ron. Actually, yes she could. She knew her brother had a gift at not listening to the women in his life, with the possible exception of his baby girl. But she had to get that time-turner away from him for his own safety.

"Ron, if you don't hand that time-turner to me right now, you will leave me with no other choice!" Ginny stared at his back as he just kept walking on the path by the lake. She took her wand out of it's holster and said one word, "Expelliarmus!" and watched as Ron turned and the hourglass necklace leapt out of Ron's hand. But instead of sailing toward her outstretched hand it fell toward the white marble sarcophagus that held Dumbledore's remains. They both watched as the glass shattered spilling the sand and the tomb disappeared.

"**I think we might be in** **trouble**," said Ron staring at the empty dais.

Chapter 2 or Where Many Discussions Take Place and Then the Captain Arrives.

Amy was still more then a little upset at the Doctor, but she was enjoying the scenery. It reminded her of home a little, although she had no idea why, it was nothing like Leadworth. Who knew when or where they were. Which reminded her,

"Doctor? Doctor!" At Amy's yell, the Doctor twirled around slightly leaning to the side as to not fall over.

"Yes! Amelia. What can I do for you?" Rory stood next to his wife, and rolled his eyes.

"I think Amy wants to know where we are, Doctor? And for that matter so would I." His hands in his pockets he raised his eyebrows at the Doctor, but held back from rolling his eyes again as the doctor smiled.

"Oh, you mean I didn't tell you. Well, Amelia Pond, welcome home! You're in Scotland of course. Three years and two months before your wedding to be exact. And you can't see the castle because you're not looking hard enough. Know there is a castle there, and you will see it. It's all a mind over matter thing with these folk. Oh and look there's a couple of people now that just might be able to help us find that hut we're looking for." And before Amy or Rory could comment on Zen-like instructions they noticed a pair of red heads heading toward what looked like a marble tomb. The young woman seemed to be yelling at the man who was striding purposefully away. Then the woman pulled out a stick and something glittered in the air before the tomb vanished.

"Oh, well. I don't think that was supposed to happen." The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and started taking readings. "That was definitely not supposed to happen and took off at a run toward the couple, not noticing a group of four other adults running their way toward the red-heads.

Ten minutes earlier in the castle….

The eight years memorial was a noisy affair and for the four friends it was a happy one. Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Luna were catching up on all the things since the last year.

"I'm telling you Luna, James is a menace. Be glad you were a continent away. The smell was horrendous. But seriously, who knew that the dodo's were still alive? And magical at that? What you've accomplished is amazing, Luna." Harry smiled at Luna who smiled back.

"Something always turns up when I'm looking for the Crumpled-horn Snorcack. I'll be making another exhibition soon to continue my search for the Snorcak." Luna stood and Harry saw a bit of the dreamy girl he knew before she found out about her father's actions.

"Luna, I hope you never-" Hermione started, but then seemed distracted by something over Harry's shoulder. "I wonder what my husband has done now." Neville, Luna, and Harry all turned to look out the window wear they saw two familiar red-heads walking toward Dumbledore's tomb, where the ceremonies would be taking place in only a couple of hours. Harry sighed. His wife did seem to have all the mannerisms of being upset.

"Well, let's go calm Ginny down before she kills Ron." The four walked out into the main hall and toward the doors.

"Just like the old days. We have to go save Ron from one of the women in his life!" Neville smiled at the other three. Just as they were getting close they saw Ginny pull her wand and winced as one. Her bat-bogey curse still packed a mean punch. But then, both Ginny and Ron froze, as did Harry, Neville, Hermione, and Luna as Dumbledore's tomb disappeared before their eyes.

"**I think we might be in trouble.**" Was what Harry heard before everything went insane.

"Really Ron? You think we are in trouble? The ceremonies begin in 2 hours. If people notice Dumbledore's tomb is gone, there's going to panic. They're going to assume Death Eaters stole it and-" Ginny was ranting at her brother as the others finally made their way to the empty dais.

"What happened?" Hermione calmly asked cutting Ginny off. Harry was really unable to say anything. As the head of the aurors, Harry had certainly been through things would shock most people, but Dumbledore's tomb vanishing in the middle of a fight between his wife and brother-in-law was not something he would have ever been expecting. So he was truly grateful for Hermione's clear head. But then things really got confusing.

"Yes, I was just wondering that myself," said a strange man in a bow tie. He had waltzed up with two other people. They all looked to be approximately the same age as Harry, but he recognized something in the Bow tie man's eyes, something that put Harry on edge. He drew his wand and held it casually at his side.

"Who are you?" The others noticed Harry's stance and copied his actions. Amy and Rory on the other hand were looking at someone other than Harry.

"Neville Longbottom?" Rory held his head to the side and walked past the Doctor who looked surprised at the actions of his companions. Neville for his part looked taken aback at first and then started laughing.

"Rory Williams? Amy Pond? What are you doing at Hogwarts? Wait, better question. How are you at Hogwarts? You don't have any magic, do you?"

Amy and Rory looked flabbergasted. Harry still glared at the Doctor, but relaxed a little. Ron, Ginny, and Hermione looked bewildered and Luna, well Luna looked as if perfect strangers wandered onto the Hogwarts grounds everyday.

"Magic? What are you talking about Neville? Of course me and Rory don't have magic-" but just then Amy saw something out the corner of her eye.

"What's that? Where'd that castle come from? Doctor what is going on?"

Amy walked up to Rory and grasped his hand.

"Yes! Right then. Amy, Rory. Magic exists. And not just on other planets, but in your own backyard. It is closely tied to physics and other sciences, but the ties between the two are never closely examined due to the separation of your two communities. The witches and wizards and as your friend Neville would put it, the muggles. Don't really like that word muggles, a little racist that, but it does tend to stick." Harry who had been listening to the man who was apparently a doctor ramble on had finally had enough. He had better control over his temper these days, but it was being tested.

"Enough! Who are you? What are you doing here? And what the bloody hell happened to Dumbledore's tomb?" The last question was thrown out at Ginny and Ron. Ginny wouldn't normally let her husband get away with yelling at her, be she understood the situation might just call for it a little.

"Well, I don't know who the man dressed like Slughorn is, but this is Rory Williams and Amy Pond. They grew up near me in the village of Leadworth. We went to primary school together." Neville spoke up for his old friends. They nervously smiled at Neville, but the companions were still a little apprehensive at their situation. It was a lot to take in, and the Doctor was being awfully still with that stick trained on him.

"Slughorn? I don't look like a slughorn. They're horrible creatures and anyway bow ties are cool. I am the Doctor, and I think considering the location, the year and that scar, you must be Harry Potter. I know Jo based the stories on her knowledge of the wizarding world as a squib, but she really did a remarkable job describing all of you. So you are Guinevere Weasley Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger-Weasley, Luna Lovegood, and Neville Longbottom." Harry hung his head.

"See Hermione, I knew I should never have allowed that series to be written. Now I can't go anywhere in the magical OR muggle worlds without being recognized. And poor Dudley. His name isn't that uncommon, but with his physique, he gets a ribbing at work all the time." Harry turned to glare at Hermione. He was still a little on edge about the strangers, but his instincts were saying he could trust the fellow man. He had seen as much or more horror as Harry.

"Well how was I to know that the effort to throw the muggles off the scent of the wizarding world would backfire this much? The books weren't supposed to become international best sellers. Anyway, we still need to find out what happened to Dumbledore's tomb." She turned pointedly to look at the Weasley siblings who were being exceedingly quiet. Finally Ron fessed up to his wife.

"I wanted to borrow your time-turner, Hermione. I need to make a quick pop into Diagon Alley without missing the ceremonies. Ginny saw and was yelling at me, but I ignored her. She tried to disarm me, and the time-turner hit Dumbledore's tomb and…" He gestured ineffectively toward the dais.

"I was trying to tell you the time-turner was malfunctioning! It has been ever since the battle at the ministry. Anyway I _did _try and disarm the idiot, but it didn't react quite right. It flew away from both of us instead of to my hand." At this explanation Hermione started casting diagnostic spells on the dais and the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver doing the same.

"I can't tell where it went, or for that matter, _when _it went. I had a feeling after the control hour glass was broken when I was sixteen, all the remaining time-turners might act a little funny. To my best guess, when Ginny cast the spell on the time turner, instead of moving it to her hand, it reacted to the time turner's magic to move it through time and space. I have no way of knowing where or when it ended it up. Shattering on the dais just meant it took the tomb with it." Hermione's eyes started to tear up and Ron, of course felt like the worst git on the planet. He had never meant for his quest to get her anniversary present would turn out like this.

"Doctor, do you think with the readings you took with the sonic, the TARDIS might be able to find the tomb?" Rory didn't understand exactly what was going on but with the look on his old friend Neville's face and the stateliness of the dais, he felt they had lost the remains of someone important to them.

"Yes Rory. I think that might just work. Now…I am assuming this is Albus Dumbledore's tomb? Much too important to just disappear. You are right to say it would cause a bit of a panic. But don't worry. We will get it back."

The magical bunch didn't exactly look convinced but with prompting from Rory, Amy, and the Doctor they followed them to the TARDIS and didn't even stop to consider going in. The Doctor was slightly disappointed to their reactions to the interior of the TARDIS, but it was only to be expected. After all it wasn't the first time they had been somewhere that was bigger on the inside then on the out. The Doctor put his sonic in a port on the control panel and started his crazy dance around to pilot the TARDIS. Hermione didn't quite understand who the Doctor was or how he could find the missing tomb, but was noticing the Doctor's movements were projecting mathematical formulas onto the screens. She understood a little of it and asked the Doctor some pointed questions about the trajectory. Surprised, but pleased the Doctor began a highly technical conversation with Hermione about the physics behind moving through four dimensions. The rest looked at the two and rolled their eyes.

"Come on, let's go to the kitchen. I'll explain a little more about, well, everything and you can explain how we grew up next to a wizard and never knew it while we have a pot of tea." Amy motioned for them to follow and they all trudged down the hallways. Harry was reminded of the Burrow and how it was slightly confusing to maneuver, but he had the feeling the inside of the TARDIS was much, much larger. Once they got there and were settled around a table that now seated 10, they got down to discussing matters.

"Alright, then. I'm Amy Pond, and this is my husband Rory Williams-"

"You finally got up the courage then? Congratulations mate!" Neville, who sitting on Rory's other side slapped him on the back.

"Actually, Nev, Mels spilled the beans first. After secondary which technically speaking, we are finishing up right now in Leadsworth" Amy informed Neville who started chuckling and Rory blushed. "Anyway, we travel with the Doctor who's a time traveling alien called a Time Lord, so we are actually from three years in your future, give or take a few months." Amy paused waiting for their reactions. Harry, who grew up with the Dursleys was a little surprised, but after finding out about magic when he was eleven, was less shocked by the news the one would think. After all if magic was real, why not aliens? The other's just looked bewildered.

Neville, who since he knew Rory and Amy previously, asked the question that Amy was not expecting.

"Amy, what are 'aliens'?" Amy looked a little stunned herself. How could anyone not know what aliens were?

"They're people from other planets. But you had to know that right, Neville? Stories about aliens are all over the telly and in books." Harry could see this was going to go into the magical explanation portions of things, so he took over.

"Amy, Neville might have gone to what we call a muggle school as a kid, but at home he lived as a wizard. They don't use technology. Don't need it. They use magic for things such as washing clothes and dishes, cooking food, transportation. Some have cars, but only a few and those cars are not what you would call normal. I doubt my wife, her brother, Neville, or Luna have ever been to a movie. I grew up with a muggle family, so I know more about science and science fiction then they do." Amy nodded understanding a little more about it.

"Anyway, so the Doctor's from another planet, and he can travel through time?" Harry prompted Amy to continue, but it was Rory who picked it up.

"Amy first met the Doctor when she was seven years old. He looked exactly as he does now. The next time she saw him was when she was twenty, and then again when she was twenty-one. I met him the second time. She traveled with him a bit on her own and then I joined them. We got separated, as traveling through time and space can be a tad dangerous, but we met up again eventually. We know the Doctor's over nine hundred years old and that he is the last of his kind. He kind of adopted Earth and protects it from the less then savory of the universe."

Again the witches and wizards nodded and seemed to take this in stride as they knew of people on their own planet lived near that long.

"Now Neville, what's this about being a wizard and why'd you never tell us." Amy crossed her arms and glared at Neville.

"I'm not allowed to muggles about the existence of magic Amy. It's too dangerous. It would cause a panic. A small percentage of people are born with magic. Most have a witch, wizard, or both as parents. Some, like Hermione, doesn't know where exactly her magic came from. Probably somewhere in her family history theirs a witch or wizard, but…" Neville shrugged then went on. "I lived with my grandmother, which you know and had little interaction with muggles outside of school. I learned some basic things about muggle technology, but honestly, I've forgotten most of it because I haven't been around it In 14 years. After I left Leadworth, I started school at Hogwarts and met Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna. We had a bit of …trouble for some years that got wrapped up eight years ago. Professor Albus Dumbledore was the greatest and most powerful wizard of the age and sacrificed himself to help end the…troubles. It's his tomb that has disappeared and unless we can get the tomb back very, very quickly, panic will break out. The anniversary ceremonies of the end of the troubles always occur at the tomb. I think that's everything pertinent."

Rory and Amy looked at each other and the others recognized a silent conversation was going on. Finally Rory motioned Amy to go on and she smiled widely.

"So Nev, you are actually _the _Neville Longbottom from the books? All of that stuff that happened, you falling off that broom, owning a toad, and being pushed of a pier in Blackpool actually happened?" Neville let his head fall to the table. Merlin, Amy was not the person he would have wanted to know about all of that. The others chuckled but Harry put a hand up.

"Yes Amy. _Everything_ in the books actually happened." The meaning behind Harry's words sank in and Amy cringed.

"Sorry, just wanted to tease Neville a bit."

"It's okay, but wait and read the seventh book when it comes out in a few months, then you'll know a lot more about what happened and why we don't like talking about it." Ginny said quietly smiling at her fellow redhead.

Rory and Amy looked chagrined, "Actually, remember, we're from 2010. We've read it already. In fact we know what you name all of your children!" At that all of those seated at the table burst out laughing.

"Don't tell Hermione that! She'd never stop asking what we name our next child. You wouldn't believe the rows we had over Rose's name." Ginny and Harry groaned.

"We had to live with the fights for months! Please, don't tell Hermione!" Ginny begged toward Amy and Rory who just smiled.

"Don't tell me what? Oh, never mind. The Doctor says we have to make a pit stop in Cardiff to charge up the TARDIS. Something about a rift. He said it should only take a minute." Amy and Rory instantly grabbed hold of the table and braced themselves while the others looked at them curiously. They found out in a minute why as all of them were on the floor rubbing various bruised body parts. Amy and Rory stood from their chairs and helped up the Neville and Luna while the others scrambled to their feet.

"I'm guessing the landings are always that rough?" Amy glanced at Rory who smiled quickly.

"Pretty much."

They all filed out of the kitchen and headed back to the control room. When they arrived they noticed a new man in the room. He was wearing an old fashioned trench coat and was quite handsome. He also seemed to be an American based on his accent. He seemed to be on friendly terms with the Doctor, but Harry noticed even Rory and Amy seemed to be a bit confused with the new arrival.

"Hello there. I'm Captain Jack Harkness. Doctor you never mentioned you had so many spectacular looking new traveling companions." Jack leaned over the closest of the bunch (which happened to be Hermione)and gently grasped her hand to give it a light kiss.

"Jack, don't. Anyway, only the two over there are my companions," he gestured over to The rest I picked up at Hogwarts. They are in a bit of a fix caused by magic gone awry." Jack's face lit up.

"Really. Hogwarts. You don't say," he looked closer at the group in front of him, "You must be Harry Potter, and you of course are Ginny, full name Ginerva," Ginny didn't even bother correcting him. It just wasn't worth it anymore. "Oh, Ron, Hermione, even Neville and Luna. Boy, Doctor when you pick up supposedly fictional characters from a book, you don't scrimp. I suppose then all the married couples are off limits then. What about you Neville and Luna? You're not married yet? Want to give it a go?" Neville's face lit up to the exact shade of a tomato. Luna stared back at the captain and then responded in a way only Luna could.

"Captain, let me check your wrackspurt levels and then I will decide." She pulled out some glasses that looked remarkably like old 3D glasses and put them on. Doctor looked a little shocked, and then smiled.

"Well, Captain Harkness, you don't seem to have any wrackspurts, but I do seem to see quite a few around you Doctor. Anyway Captain Harkness, I don't believe it would be wise to engage in sexual relations with you as you are currently grieving. Maybe in a few years." The Hogwarts bunch just shook their heads and smiled at Luna. Jack's smile though slid off his face and Amy and Rory noticed the pain that had been hidden. But soon enough the mask was back on. The Doctor however was jumping up and down.

"Ooh, so the wizards have managed to make glasses that detect void particles. Never heard them referred to as wrackspurts before, but I suppose that's as good a name as any for the particles. Any way I suppose we need to be on our way. Jack do you want to come along? We are locating and returning the tomb of Albus Dumbledore." The Doctor looked at Jack. He had not been so unaware of what had been occurring in Jack's life. The last time he had seen him had been the saddest he'd ever seen Jack. He could probably use a distraction.

"Reeaally. Albus Dumbledore. I had always wanted to meet him. Interesting fellow, Dumbledore. We had some things in common, or so I here. Sure, why not. After being turned mortal and then immortal again and dragging Gwen back into things, I should probably make myself sparse." He took off his jacket and sat down on the pilots chair. "By the way Doc, love what you did with the TARDIS. But tell me. The glass floors. Do they ever cause you problems when you're working on the old girl?"

The Doctor looked over at Amy and Rory who both blushed and looked anywhere but at a person. The Doctor turned scratching his head, "Well, no problems really." Jack burst out laughing.

"I'm sure. So Doc, where are we headed to?"

"I think I'd like to know that, too," said Harry who along with the rest of the non-TARDIS regulars had been quiet up to that point, just trying to absorb the personalities of these two very unusual men.

"Right! We are headed to the year 2518 to a planet called Sihnon. It's been colonized by humans, but the galaxy has been forgotten by the rest of the humans in the universe, and in return they do not realize there are other humans out there and have completely forgotten about the existence of other species. You'll need to change your clothes to be a little more acceptable. Jack, your fine in what you're wearing, but I wouldn't wear the coat. It might provoke some of the locals. The rest of you can find clothing in the TARDIS' wardrobe. Amy, Rory if you could show them the way, and we'll be off."

"So the name of the planet is Sihnon. Sounds rather Chinese to me. It would explain this dress." Ginny, Hermione, Luna and Amy stood in the women's section of the wardrobe putting on the dresses they had found there. Hermione was fingering the brocade of her red dress.

"You're probably right Hermione. I wonder what the men are wearing. The Doctor said what Jack was wearing was fine. I love it when Harry's in a muggle suit. That's how little Albus was conceived!" Ginny grinned wickedly at the other three. Amy grinned back.

"You should see Rory in Centurion get-up. I made him wear it on our wedding night. I love the TARDIS. It has the best wardrobe in the universe." Hermione and Ginny laughed while Luna gazed into the distance of the room.

"I wonder what matter the TARDIS converts to make the clothing. Something does not come from nothing after all." Luna's comment had Ginny laughing even harder, with Amy joining in. Hermione's face was struck dumb. She had never heard a witch use scientific terms before, and do it correctly. Not to mention a very rational question coming from Luna.

"Hermione, do you always forget that Luna was in Ravenclaw?" Ginny grinned at Hermione and they gathered their skirts to walk to the door.

The men were waiting for them on the other side having finished changing long before into crisp suits with high collars and now buttons on the jackets. Each of the men held out an arm for their wife, or friend in the case of Neville and Luna, and hastily made their way back to the Control room where they immediately followed Amy and Rory's lead by grabbing hold of something to steady themselves for the landing. This time everyone managed to stay standing. Jack made a show of leering at everyone until Amy started leering back.

"Well, hello there. Like what you see?" Rory hit his forehead and grabbed his wife's arm. Jack smiled a true smile.

"I think I like this one Doc. Yes indeed I think I do." The Doctor just looked away and opened the doors.

"Welcome to Sihnon! And out they walked into the surprised path of two very shocked citizens.

Five minutes earlier…..

"C'mon now Inara. I know that you said this is what you want, but is this really what you want? To give up your license? We could just go on bein' together without you takin' any clients. Once your out, your out," Inara smiled and placed a hand on Mal's arm. He could be so sweet sometimes, "and besides you might get sick of living on Serenity with so little influx of credits." Except when he is being so shen ma stupid.

"Mal. I do not want to take clients anymore. It is not right for who I am now and who I want to be. And who I want to be is your wife. Now I know that you've been married before, but I have not and never thought to be. The guild makes allowances for those of us who wish to leave the guild to begin a family. And I wish to do so. With you." She turned toward him as she said this last part, realizing this moment was unusual between them, and cupped his cheek. He reached up and took his hand in hers.

"I want to live with you like Wash and Zoe did. I don't want one of us to die and leave the other wondering about what might have been."

"Inara, I-"

"Welcome to Sihnon!" someone proclaimed to his right. And he turned to look as ten people walked out of a blue telephone box that looked like a remnant of Earth-That-Was. He didn't know exactly what was going on, but he knew ten people could not fit into that gorram box.

"Who the xuexing di diyu are you? And how did you fit in that… there… box?" Mal had his gun out and pointed at the group while nodding toward the TARDIS.

"Oh why are there always guns? I am the Doctor and these are my friends." He motioned for Jack to hide the gun he had been about to pull out. "As for how we fit into the box, well, it's… experimental. That's right it's a new experimental tourist ship. We're on it's maiden voyage as such. And I must ask you to keep it quiet. We don't want our competition to find out about it. Hush, hush and all that." Mal kept his eyes on the Doctor and lowered his gun.

"Well, that was fuzai de gou shi, but I don't have no quarrel with you so we will be on our way. I've had enough of doctors anyway." He and Inara started to walk around the group.

"Wait, maybe you can help us," Harry pushed the Doctor aside who looked mildly offended, "Something very important has gone missing and we think it ended up somewhere on this planet. Do you have anyway of finding out if something… sort of appeared out of nowhere." Harry finished with a cringe knowing he sounded a little crazy. Inara however saw something in the young green-eyed man, the Doctor, and then man who had almost pulled his weapon that she often saw in Mal. A goodness of spirit which had been pulled through the mud. She touched Mal's arm.

"We could have Zoe search the cortex on Serenity. That wouldn't be that difficult." Mal looked down into Inara's eyes and rolled his eyes.

"Gorram it woman! Alright," he pronounced turning back toward the group of well dressed people, "what is it that your looking for and I will have my first mate search the cotex."

The witches and wizards all smiled. Finally, they were making progress at fixing this mess.

"A large white marble tomb. No one should be able to open it." I placed enough bloody wards on it after the final battle, thought Harry. Mal pulled out a communications device from his belt and waved Serenity.

"We've run into some people have lost something big. Can you look to see if anybody's chatting on the cortex 'bout a large white marble tomb on Sihnon comin' out of nowhere?" Mal waited for a response, but was surprised to hear River when he new he had left Zoe at the helm.

"No need Captain. I can tell Harry Potter and the Doctor, as well as the others where to go. It's near the eldest oak tree in the valley to the east of your location. You will find what you are looking for there. And Captain, Zoe is throwing up again, that's why I'm at the helm." The Doctor looked startled at a girls voice speaking so knowingly about him, but he had heard of the experiments the government of this galaxy had been doing on teenagers and children. His anger grew, but then calmed. Obviously the girl was no longer being experimented on and the name Serenity rang a bell. He'd have to look at the history for this planet after he got back on the TARDIS. Harry however had a different reaction.

"Has everyone in the entire universe read those bloody books! And how did she know who I was from wherever she's at! Can she see me?" Ron reached over and patted him on the shoulder.

"Look at it this way mate. After this little trip you can go back to England and pretend that everyone (outside of the wizarding world that is) will forget about you for the newest book series. Didn't it help when those vampire books came out?" Harry just hung his head and all the others just laughed.

Mal and Inara just looked at the young men and women having no idea what they were talking about.

"Well then, there's your answer. We'll be off then!" Mal started to walk off again, but this time Inara stopped him.

"We'd be happy to show you the way to where you need to go. I grew up here and would be more then happy to guide you." It was Mal's turn to hang his head. He may have made a show at talking Inara out of resigning her license, but he really wanted her to do it before she could change her mind.

"Alright, but let's go. We have stuff we need to do." Mal stated and then started marching down the road.

Inara smiled, "I would say that he doesn't mean to be rude, but that would be a lie. My name is Inara Serra and that is my fiancé Captain Malcolm Reynolds. Let's go and catch up with him. We can talk more on the way."

As the Doctor walked he introduced everyone, "This is Captain Jack Harkness, but you can just call him Jack to avoid confusion. This is Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger-Weasley. You met Harry and this is his wife Je- nope, I think we'll just call you Cyril this time Ginny," the Doctor winked and Ginny hung her head as she realized the Doctor had been mispronouncing her name on purpose, but wondered why he stopped before calling her Jenny. "Anyways, to finish up this is Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and Rory and Amy Pond."

"Actually our last name are Williams." Rory spoke up.

"No, it's not Rory and you know it." Rory just shook his head.

"I don't know why I bother."

Amy put an arm around him as if to comfort him, "I don't know either Rory. You might as well face it our children are going to be Ponds and if you want the same last name as our children, you are just going to have to change your name."

Their conversation was rather stilted as much as Inara tried to keep it up as no one knew what else they could tell her after introducing themselves. Questions such as where are you from were answered vaguely with far away. Many times she had caught the younger ones looking toward the Doctor as if trying to see what they could say. Sometimes he would nod, but mostly he shook his head and then smiled at Inara and turned the conversation toward the architecture and plant life in the area. At one point the young woman called Hermione asked after Zoe.

"Is everything alright with Zoe, I think the girl said? She said she had been sick." Inara looked at the young woman's face and smiled sadly, "She fine, just with child. And River is the name of the young woman who spoke to us." The Doctor paused just a half second at the name River, but then continued on as if it meant nothing.

"That's wonderful! I hope everything is going well. Besides the morning sickness that is." Hermione noticed the sadness in the response, but chose not to comment on it and pre-empted the insensitive remark from Ron with an elbow to the ribs.

Inara noticed the move and held back a chuckle, "Yes, our ship's doctor says everything is progressing normally. But here we are. The tree which River spoke of stand right over there." Mal was a little ways a head of her and saw the marble tomb. He also saw a man with long red hair sitting on it as well. The sun glinted brightly off the marble, surely attracting every thief and less then savory type within ten miles. He put his hand on his gun just in case of trouble.

"Who's that on the tomb?" Neville questioned, but turned and saw the pale faces of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. The rest of them had never read Rita Skeeter's biography of Dumbledore and therefore had never seen the picture of a young Albus Dumbledore.

The Doctor quickly gained an understanding of what happened. "The terraforming energy!" He slapped his head and turned a quick circle. "It must have combined with the leftover time energy, reviving him and de-aging him!" Neville and Ginny gaped at him.

"You mean-" Ginny started but was cut off by Luna who had passed Mal and Inara to walk straight up to the man with red hair and dressed in robes.

"Hello Professor Dumbledore." The man's blue eyes twinkled merrily at the blond young woman before him.

"Hello Miss Lovegood. And how are you on this fine day?" Even the Doctor was a little surprised at the normality of the conversation.

"Quite well, but probably not as good as you. The time magic would have revived you into perfect health."

"My dear girl you are a wonder. Yes I do seem to be in perfect health as well as one hundred and thirty years or so younger. Would anyone care to explain how this occurred, and where we are?" The group looked at each other but none began to talk, not knowing where to start.

"Well, you are on Sihnon. My name's Captain Malcolm Reynolds and this is my wife-to-be Inara Serra. We were helping these folks, who you seem to be familiar with, with finding this here tomb. Apparently they found a bit more then that, but other then that we are newcomers to this little party." Mal put in, wanting to be done with this mess.

"Thank you Captain. My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I am quite grateful for your help." Something which had been gnawing at Inara since she first heard Harry's name and the outbursts shortly after finally clicked into place.

"Albus Dumbledore? Harry Potter? Weasley? Hermione Granger? No, it's just a story, a fantasy. Those can't be your real names. Who are you really?" She stepped away from the large group and Malcolm drew his gun. If Inara thought they were lying about who they were, that was good enough for him.

"You'll be answering the lady's question. I can guarantee that." The Doctor again signaled to Jack to keep his gun stowed. The magical group exchanged glances and then looked to the Doctor who gave them a nod.

Hermione spoke up first, "We are who we say we are. Those stories were based on the true stories of our teenage years. Obviously we have grown up, and we are out of our place in time, but yes, he is the Harry Potter. Yes, magic is real, or at least was real." Hermione hedged about magic not knowing about magic in this time period. The Doctor took his queue and began what he was best at, talking.

"Yes, well, magic still does exist. In fact a few galaxies over is the newly colonized planet of Hogwarts. The human race being much larger now and more spread out needed a central planet for magical education and they decided to name it after the most celebrated school of witchcraft and wizardry in history. They still keep it mostly a secret. All the major governments know, except the one in this galaxy. They lost contact with the main group and then everyone forgot their had been other humans. A lot of Earth's history was lost by this particular group and so they also forgot aliens exist too. But that will all change in a few years when a ship from another part of the universe heads it way over here." Mal still held his gun on the group of travelers. Ginny however had had enough. She wanted to get home to her two children. She knew when she got back she would have only been gone for a few minutes, but Albus was just an infant and James was probably driving his poor granny crazy by now, and she just missed her children!

"I'm guessing you want proof, right?" At their nods she pulled out her want and held it toward Professor Dumbledore who looked a little startled. "Here's your proof!" She said a spell and transfigured Dumbledore's clothing to something similar to what the men we wearing.

Jack wolf-whistled, "Looking good, Professor!" Dumbledore's ears pinked but there was no other visible reaction.

"Thank you my good man. What might your name be. We have yet to be introduced."

"Captain Jack Harkness, Professor. I've always wanted to meet you." He held out a hand which Dumbledore took and shook.

"Ah yes, my friend Nicholas told me about you."

Jack's eyebrows shot up, "Really? Hm. I sought him out as soon as I heard of him. I thought he might be able to help me with my problem."

"I know my dear boy, he was very upset he could not help you."

"It's okay, I've learned to live with it, but just so you know we are about the same age and, well since you haven't had a chance to look in a mirror, you hardly look older then me." He smirked, and Dumbledore heard a few more giggles coming from a few of his former students.

"Shengmu shen." Mal muttered under his breath. He had stowed his pistol out of shock. Inara seemed to be handling it a bit more gracefully, but every now and then would utter something about stories coming to life and wondering if a giant smoking caterpillar would appear soon too.

"Wonderful! But as I still don't know where we are, why don't you fill me in Captain Harkness and then we can be moving along." Professor Dumbledore stood up and pulled out the Elder Wand and levitated the tomb with nary a word.

Jack smiled and decided to answer his question, "Two of your former students managed to have an accident with a …time-turner?" He glanced over at Hermione who nodded, "it shattered over your tomb and you got instantly transported to the planet Sihnon which is not in your galaxy and through time to the year 2518. Fortunately the Doctor happened to be around and offered to help them retrieve the tomb, only to find you here as well." Dumbledore nodded, and then glanced at the Doctor.

"It's lovely to be in the presence of Merlin. The other witches and wizards stopped walking at once and alternated between staring at Dumbledore and the Doctor.

"Figured that one out did you? What gave it away? I thought I did a pretty good job of making my sonic look like a wand, at first anyway." He pulled at the bow tie at his neck gave Dumbledore a sideways glance.

"You slipped occasionally and used scientific terms. Nothing that the majority of the wizarding world would notice, but I have studied muggle works of science as well. I believe Miss Granger, or should I say Mrs. Weasley, would have been able to figure it out as well had she the materials I did." The Doctor nodded in response and smiled widely clapping his hands once.

"I do love it when you humans are clever." Dumbledore gave him a polite smile back. This little slip up of the Doctor's was noticed by everyone, including Mal and Inara, but they decided they had had enough of mind blowing revelations and would ignore that one.

Shortly, they arrived back at the TARDIS where Mal took one look at the blue box and another at the marble tomb and said, "I don't think that's going to fit in there." The Doctor just smiled and snapped his fingers and both doors on the front of the Tardis opened. Mal and Inara caught enough of a glance to see an impossibly spacious interior before the floating marble tomb blocked there view. The Doctor ran in and did a little search on the TARDIS' databases about the Serenity and its crew. He frowned a little and then found something quite funny. The rest of the group had entered the TARDIS having said there goodbye's to Mal and Inara. The Doctor leaned out as he closed the doors.

"Thanks for all your help. Good luck with the future. You'll be hearing about magic again in about thirteen years if you start not believing. Bye now." And with that he shut the door. Inara and Mal watched as the blue box disappeared before their eyes. They looked at each other for one minute before both silently deciding to disregard the entire event. It was time to break a commitment.

In the TARDIS…

Amy and Rory headed straight for their room, too tired from the dragon adventure and then all of this stay up any longer. The witches and wizards all too up spots around the room. Professor Dumbledore stood next to Jack and it looked as if it was a serious discussion until Jack got a sly smile on his face.

"Well Professor, would you like to go have some tea and possibly discuss some things we have in common?"

"I would indeed good sir, but I believe first we have to decide where I am going. Isn't that right Doctor." Harry and the others all looked up at this, but the Doctor just nodded.

"But Professor Dumbledore, won't you be coming back with us?" Harry asked quietly. He had not expected to find his mentor alive, but now wished he had his guidance again in his fame filled life.

"No Harry, my dear boy. My time on Earth has passed, and if I returned it would cause many problems. Anyway, I would never be able to have a new life on Earth, and I feel it's time for a new life." Harry nodded. He didn't like it, but he did understand.

"Your right as always Professor Dumbledore! I think I found you a planet where you can settle happily. It's very isolated and the humans there have managed to regress to an feudal society with no technology. Magic is an accepted thing there, but rare and never practiced with a wand. I don't think you would be able to make a living as a teacher there." Dumbledore nodded and thought for a moment.

"I believe that will do quite nicely. Thank you Doctor. I've always wanted to try my hand as an illuminator." The Doctor smiled. He loved it when things worked out. "There's also a large race of intelligent dragons in this land. I recently liberated two eggs and would appreciate it if you located the right place for them for me." He turned back to the console and was hitting at the display screen.

"That would be no problem. Now what is this beautiful ship going to give me as my identity?

"Your name is Holcomb and you are moving to Kuasta from Teirm. Simple enough to create an identity for this kind of society who really just takes your word for it." The Doctor shrugged and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled before turning back to the Captain.

"Shall we go have that tea then Captain?" Jack smiled and led the way into the passageway. The witches and wizards talked for a little while but were just quiet as time went by. The Doctor went to joint the Captain and the Doctor for some tea while flying through the vortex.

Ron got up to find the restroom, but returned minutes later looking pale and ill. Hermione pulled him down next to her and stroked his forehead.

"Are you alright Ron? What happened?" asked Harry when he and knelt beside Ron.

"I was looking for the bathroom when I opened a door. It was filled with mist….thank Merlin for the mist, but there were noises. Noises I never want to hear again." He shook his head and the others were still worried. What types of things could be lurking in this giant ship.

"The Captain and Professor Dumbledore…"

"What about them Ron? Are they in trouble?" Ginny asked fervently.

"No." He swallowed then trying not to remember, "they were having…" he motioned with his hands, "fun…" he finished lamely. But he needn't have worried. All of his friends immediately understood.

"Oh Ron! While a bit disturbing and very surprising, really. You had us all worried." Hermione stopped stroking her husband's forehead. But while it was funny on one hand, none of them really wanted to picture Professor Dumbledore having any sort of romantic liaison.

They silently decided not to discuss it. After about thirty minutes the Doctor came back and pushed a few buttons on his console. Jack and Dumbledore walked back into the console room with not a hair out of place. Dumbledore's former students could barely look at him without blushing, but each managed to hug the man. He had changed into some rough looking medieval garb which had been laid out when it had been time to get redressed.

"Don't worry. We'll see each other in the next life. Harry and the others nodded and they all watched as Dumbledore took the eggs and walked out the doors. The Doctor immediately put them back in vortex to give them a little more time.

A few hours later Amy and Rory came out to find everyone grabbing something. This time it was Amy and Rory whom ended up on the floor.

The Doctor opened the doors again and saw they were exactly where and when they were supposed to be. He did like it when he and the TARDIS got it right.

"Alright everyone! We're back at Hogwarts! Final stop for anyone not staying." Ron, Hermione and Harry and Ginny immediately scrambled to the door, wanting to get back to their children. They did pause long enough to levitate the marble tomb back to its place on the dais. Neville and Luna each looked at the other and then looked at the Doctor.

"It's up to you. I would love to have you aboard, even though it would only be a short time with the pair of you. Too many responsibilities and ties." The Doctor leaned back against the console and crossed his legs.

Neville nodded and then turned towards Harry, "Consider this my resignation from the auror corps beginning immediately."

Harry blanched. "What? Neville, please don't." Neville just waved his hand at Harry to stop him.

"I'm not happy here Harry. And maybe after a year or two I might just find myself a place teaching. I really don't know.' Harry nodded his acceptance and hugged Neville farewell.

"I'm going too. I wouldn't want to miss all those new animals." Luna hugged each of them in turn as well and with that Luna and Neville joined Amy, Rory, and the Doctor as time travelers extraordinaire.

After they watched the TARDIS disappear Harry turned to the others, "We never speak of this ever where people might hear us." The others nodded and then they walked back up to the castle, half listening for that sound again, bringing home their two friends.


End file.
